Thanks for your questions - some were adoption-related and others were not. And several require a good bit of contemplation before I'm able to put my thoughts into words. But I'll work on answering them, when life gives me little to blog about. I'm going to answer a question in this post, despite the fact that life isn't so boring right now...and then I'll tell you about my frustration.

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The first question is from N's cousin, Andrea: When are you coming home again??? I wish I could say. Technically, I go home every day after work...but somehow, I doubt that's what Andrea meant. ;) When will we make it to North AL again? On a very limited budget, gas prices make it really difficult for us right now. And with our work-weeks being so full, the only time we really get to enjoy time together as a family ends up being on some weekends (and at least one weekend out of the month is taken up by Drill). Trips "home" end up being so full of car-time and people that we come home with an overstimulated child, who takes a couple days to recuperate from the weekend. So all things in consideration, I really can't say for sure. I can say that our doors are open, if anyone is ever in town and wants to give us a call...we welcome visitors! Visit-ING is just difficult for us right now. Hopefully we'll make it up that way soon, though - we do miss seeing everyone on both sides of our family.

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So now that I have answered question #1, let me move on to something else.

I'm frustrated.

And honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it's really nothing...but it seems that Iliya makes it through one stage and before I can take a breath, he hits the ground running on another stage. Which is totally normal. But I still get frustrated...and am learning that it's okay to be frustrated - even with the normal, sometimes!

A few months ago, I wrote about Iliya screaming so much. Or really, yelling. A sort of "war cry" that - if I were to do it as much as Iliya did - would cause my throat to go hoarse by the second yell (those of you who heard it first-hand know exactly what I'm talking about). I mean, even for all the reminding we did, it seemed like there was NO such thing as an "inside voice." And no matter what, he never lost his voice! One of those amazing qualities of childhood, I guess.

So we just tried to be patient, sounding like a broken record, reminding Iliya that he really needed to use his inside voice.

Then, one day, Nathan & I woke up and realized that we hadn't heard that yell in a while.

It had stopped almost as quickly as it had started.

Whew! But not for long!

Iliya almost immediately started using his nails to scratch, if he felt upset or in danger. Or just didn't want to do something. I'm thankful that (so far) he hasn't used his teeth instead of his words to get his point across (knock on a whole lumberyard of wood) . But the whole scratching thing is getting tiresome.

And now it has expanded to random "roughness." He will randomly push one of his friends, or slap at them. It's not really coming across as meanness...but more, as being rough. It's not done IN reaction to anything anyone has done to him. I watch him do it, and it's almost like he's just testing limits and looking for a reaction from someone.

We make sure to talk to him, and try to help him understand that hitting/scratching/pushing is not an acceptable way to treat his friends. That he should be nice/sweet/gentle with his friends. The thing is, it's pretty easy to say NO hitting, NO scratching, NO pushing. But what do we replace it with? BE nice. BE sweet. BE gentle.

Hitting, scratching, and pushing are pretty concrete concepts, while nice, sweet, and gentle are more intangible concepts. It's all good for me to tell him to be gentle or nice...and he seems to "get" it, but I can't expect a 2-year old to really understand, since he's still so swamped in his own egocentrism!

So I've searched my brain, to figure out what to tell him, instead. I try to explain how his actions make other people feel (hurt, sad, etc)...and I've come up with things to help explain HOW to be nice or gentle, such as:

• If you feel like you want to push your friends, just put your hands to your side.
• Instead of scratching, just say "no."
• A hug is more gentle than hitting.

This parenting gig is tough, sometimes! And it's embarrassing to know that my child caused another child to need a bandaid, yesterday, because of a scratch inflicted by my child. But it's a good idea to step back, look at the whole picture, and realize that - though I'm frustrated, I'm not the only parent who has a child that does things that aren't necessarily considered "good behavior."

And I have to remind myself that he is likely going through yet another difficult stage. And one day, we'll wake up and realize that he hasn't been "rough" with anyone in a while.

I hope that day comes soon.