Okay...so it really wasn't that severe. But it seems that our little guy was a little out of sorts tonight. Let me explain...

When we eat dinner, Iliya eats what we eat - I decided long ago that I never wanted to become a short order cook. And actually, Iliya has always been a pretty good eater (extra good - almost annoyingly good - in the beginning, tapering off to a well-rounded good, more recently) so it has been pretty easy to cook a meal and expect that he will eat it, or at least try it. With that said, I make sure to include selections that he likes with every meal. I don't typically try something brand new without making sure there is something on his plate that I'm quite sure he will eat.

Also, we encourage Iliya to eat well...but we do not require him to eat everything on his plate. We figure if he's hungry he'll eat - and we really want him to learn to listen to his internal cues for when he is full. If he says he's done, he's done. We don't tell him he has to eat so many more bites of this, or eat all of that. We do, however, tell him (because he eats fairly close to his bedtime, so there is not a big timespan between dinner and sleep...and we just don't want to encourage the habit of feeling like he has to eat at all hours), that when he gets down from the table, then there is no more food for the evening.

So far so good in that department. He eats well enough that (as far as I can tell) he truly gets full. We have never had to enforce the "once you get down, no more food tonight" policy.

Until tonight.

For dinner tonight, we had leftover roast, potatoes, carrots, and peas. A meal that he devoured last night but decided to only pick at tonight. He ate 2 tiny pieces of a baby carrot, a small chunk of meat, a forkful of peas (most of which ended up in his lap), and I'm not even sure if he ate a potato chunk (I do, however, know that he played with one). After eating those bits of food, he declared that he was all done.

As usual, we went through the fact that no one else at the table was done, and tonight, I added that he hadn't eaten much of his own food. I mentioned that his plate was still there, if he decided he was still hungry. I think he might have eaten one more small bite. And again, declared that he was all done. I told him that it was fine to be all done...but after he got down from the table, then there would be no more food tonight, and he would end up a very hungry boy.

And he called my bluff...even though it was never a bluff to begin with.

As soon as Nathan was finished eating (he's the slowest of the 3 of us), I asked Iliya, one more time, if he really was done eating. I reminded him, again, that he would be hungry. But he insisted that he wanted to get down.

The minute his feet hit the floor, and I began clearing the plates, he began saying, "eat! eat! eat!"

Unfortunately, I had to say no. And I reminded him of the consequence we had explained to him before he ever got down from the table. He cried - the cry I mentioned in my previous post. Our decision to uphold what we had said was extremely difficult, mainly because I knew he was going to be hungry, and I hated that for him. But what I had to remind myself is that the process of understanding consequences requires a lot more "live and learn" than explanations from mama and daddy. And hunger is a natural consequence of not eating - which says way more than I ever could tell him. He'll be more likely to remember it in the future.

This is probably the most difficult consequence - thusfar - I've had to allow...but I know it won't be the last. See, he wanted to make a decision, and because the consequence wouldn't be harmful for the longrun, we let him. I wonder how - and even if - this event will shape his decision-making process.

I guess we shall see. In the meantime, I keep learning that there are parts of parenthood can be way more difficult than I ever thought possible.