I'm a member of a message board that I used to frequent during some of our years of infertility. It's a wonderful message board - but I rarely posted to it, mostly just lurked to find out info. There is also an adoption forum - but it's mostly people adopting domestically or from China. There are a few other countries represented -- but as far as I know, I may be the only one representing Russia. It's not really a place of rumors/speculation, like a lot of other adoption forums - Like I said, most of us found that board and lurked/posted about infertility struggles...so it's a pretty small group of people that have "moved on" to the adoption forum.

Anyway, I usually check this board every couple of days, and today, I read a post by a lady who has 1 biological child, 1 adopted child, and another biological child on the way. The basic nature of her post was that while her extended family accepts and loves both of the older children (remember, the last one isn't quite born) - they differentiate between the adopted child and the biological children. From what the lady posted, it sounds like the family does not mean to do this, but they do it anyway. If they are out in public, and a stranger comments on the 2 cute children - it never fails that a family member will point out that "this one is the older, and this one is the younger...she's the adopted baby."

And maybe part of me is naive - but I can't imagine actually saying something like that. And I can't imagine either of our families saying this, either. At least I would be completely taken aback if they did.

When Little I comes home - yes, we will have been made a family through adoption, but he won't be referred to as "our adopted child"...he will be "our child." Period. He will definitely know that he is adopted - there is no question in my mind about that. But I don't think that other people need an explanation about how he became our child - we don't want him to feel like he is...well, different, or that somehow being adopted sets him apart from other members in our family. We want to help him know about the place in which he was born - and to be proud of his heritage - but that is his story to tell to the random people in the grocery store, if he wants to one day.

I may be setting my sights too high, or I may be way off-track...but that post really did weigh heavily on me today, and I guess I just needed to talk about my feelings on subject. Some of you who are parents through adoption - may have some special insight for me. If you do, I more than welcome it!

For now, I know we both have great families who already love Little I - and are more than ready for him to come home! I just never want him to be referred to as "Little I...he's the adopted one." Nah, he'll be "Little I...the one & only!"