As our tenth & final day draws to a close, I want to take a moment to tell you all how much I appreciate you. Without your support and prayers, I honestly believe that we would not be in Russia right now, listening to the newest member of our family sleep.

Almost 9 years ago, Nathan & I were married…we knew we wanted to start a family very quickly. Neither of us was finished with school yet (though Nathan had only a semester left) but that didn’t really stop our desire to have a little one running around with us. The months passed, and we had no baby to show for it. The years passed, and still, no baby. We prayed…and we prayed. We listened to people ask us when we thought we would start trying to have a baby, and we would nonchalantly say something like, “when we’re ready.” Then I would go home and cry in my husband’s arms. We couldn’t figure out why we were not meant to have a child. We went through the ordeal of infertility testing and some treatment. I got to be on a first-name-basis with the ladies at the bloodwork lab…and still, nothing.

Though we didn’t go through nearly as much as other people choose to do, we finally had enough. We didn’t want to remain a walking science experiment, and decided that we just really didn’t care how we became parents, but THAT we became parents. Releasing the dream of having a biological child took a little longer for me than it did for Nathan. Somehow, I felt like I had failed…the doctors couldn’t figure out the problem, but you know what the defining moment was for me? We were sitting in our doctor’s office, after another failed cycle and a surgery, discussing our options. In closing, he said, “even if we don’t figure this out, we’ll keep trying. You’ve got great odds. In fact, I’d go to ‘Vegas on your odds.”

I decided, in that moment, that I didn’t want “odds” anymore. I wanted a child. If that child came from my body, then wonderful. If the child came from somewhere else and was given to us to be our own, then even more of a blessing!

And here we are. A year and a half after that last doctor’s visit. Listening (yes, listening – he is pretty congested) to our sweet child sleep. We have been so blessed – in so many ways – in this journey. If we didn’t know we were loved before, we know it now. You all have been so kind, understanding, prayerful, and just all around wonderful. This journey has been filled with good times & not so good times. This blog is full of rejoicing…and…complaining, but it’s been a great outlet for me, and I’m so humbled that so many have had such a prayerful interest in our adoption process.

But back to those years of infertility struggles. When we prayed for a child…we are positive that our prayers were heard. The answer was just “not right now.” There was a specific plan for us – and though we didn’t know it, those years of childlessness were great years for us to really get to know one another and mature together. Some one told us, before we were married, that (at 19 & 21) we were totally different people than we would be in 5 or even 10 years. We didn’t really believe it…but amazingly, it was the truth. We had time – that we didn’t know we needed – to mature and grow (both individually and together) before we had a child. We are not perfected – we will never be, because we will keep growing – but we are more ready than ever to be parents.

Parents to such a sweet and special child. A child that, as of midnight tonight, is ours. Forever and always.