We really are enjoying our time here. Today was a pretty leisurely day. It rained last night, and (thankfully!!) the humidity was WAY down. There was a great breeze all day, and the temperature didn’t get too high. This morning, Nathan & Little I went for a walk, by themselves, which is HUGE. Nathan said that Little I cried for a minute when they went outside, but then they ended up having a good time…and when they came back in, I (as in, mommy) was greeted with a huge grin and a hug. Then I got an earful about all the fun things they did outside – chased birds (crows, or something like that, this time), splashed in a puddle, played on the swings. It was so sweet to hear how much fun they had.

Have I mentioned how we are so excited to come home? I think you all were pretty right when you said that I am getting homesick. I really am enjoying my time with my husband & my son…I’m just ready to be home to sleep in my bed and cook with my dishes and eat my food. I guess what I’ve got could be deemed a form of cabin fever. Anyway, today marks the end of Day 8. Two more days to go, then we do a couple days’ worth of paperwork and then head out to Moscow. I’m not sure if we will have internet access in Moscow (though I will try to post if/when I can), for one reason because it can be very expensive.

So before things get too busy, I wanted to talk for a second about our homecoming.

I know that a pretty large group of people is set to meet us at the airport, and I can’t tell you HOW excited we are to see you! I just want you to be prepared that Iliya may not be quite as excited…he may surprise us, but we totally anticipate him being overwhelmed. When he’s overwhelmed, he is likely to get really shy…and/or…cry. We won’t know what he’ll do, till we are there…so please be prepared for these reactions. The only thing that we ask is that no one tries to take him from either of us. He’s pretty shy with strangers, but then again, he could surprise us and try to go to someone with their hands outstretched. Even if he does this, he’ll have to stay with one of us. We hope that if you know of anyone who is coming…and they are not regular readers…please help us spread this word.

I think this will be the hardest thing about our homecoming. Because if you’ve seen a picture of our little one, you KNOW, he is an irresistible little thing. And by irresistible, I mean that his presence, alone, brings on the desire to kiss him, squeeze him, and pretty much eat him up. And we want everyone to have their time with him, when he is truly ready…BUT for a while after we come home, we will have to be the parents, and we will have to be the ones to hold him, help him, and primarily care for him. If you ask to hold him, and we say 'no,' it's not because we don't think you are incapable...it's just that he needs to see us as his primary caregivers. The people who love him best and who are supposed to meet all his needs.

I explained it to our niece like this: Little I has not ever had a mommy and a daddy, so when he comes home, he will still be learning that we are his mommy and daddy (and what it actually means to have a mommy and a daddy). Part of this learning process means that we’ll need to do most everything for him when he first comes home. We want to be sure that when he needs something, he learns to come to us for it…and not to just anyone.

This is something that a lot of people (who have children from the time they are born, or at least extremely young) often take for granted. The child grows up and just knows who takes care of them. This is not to say that there are not biological children with unhealthy attachments out there, but as parents of a post-institutionalized child, we do not take attachment for granted. It is something that must be worked on and I think that I speak for most adoptive parents when I say that we hope that our friends and family will understand by allowing us to be the ones that our child attaches to.

So, all that to say that we completely appreciate your support and prayers up to this point…and will appreciate them in the days, weeks, and months ahead of us. We want you to come see us at the airport…we just want you to be prepared for all the possibilities of that night!

I know that I just way oversimplified the whole attachment thing, but it’s the easiest way to explain it. He is doing SO well right now…for that, we are extremely thankful. But such a huge change of scenery may cause some confusion for him (though we hope not) & we want to be able to keep on this good track, even after we come home!
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Anyway, to finish up rambling for the night…

Thanks – so much! – for all your thoughts & prayers during this waiting period. The time has really flown by and it’s hard to believe that we have only a week & a half before we’re home!

Until tomorrow…goodnight! (and you all have a wonderful day!)
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**edited to clarify b/c of a question I received in email: We want Iliya to know and love all the people we know & love! We think it will be perfectly fine to talk to him & even touch him - we feel good enough in his attachment to us that all of those things should be okay - we just want to know that we will be supported in the area of being his parents & the primary ones he attaches & looks to. We will know what's best for him & how much he can handle. He may be able to handle quite a bit...or not much at all. But we are mostly asking for your understanding and support through this new process (for all three of us!).

One of the things that has stuck out in my mind about an international adoption parenting seminar we went to is the social worker saying that when friends & family come over, if the child needs anything to let the parents do it. But the example that really sticks in my mind is that she said, "if a grandparent (or whoever) is over, and the child brings a bag over to them and asks them to open it for him...then the grandparent should take him to the mom/dad and get them to do it." Basically, I think she was saying that other adults -- friends/family -- can help model these attachment behaviors for the child.

So I hope that clarifies. We don't want to seclude him from people. I hope no one took that from my post; we just want to be able to know what his limits are, and if we reach them...we don't want people to get upset because it's time for bed, or time to leave. That's mostly it!