So I'm on my lunchbreak right now. Just sitting here. I really wanted to go somewhere, so I could get out of the office for a few minutes, but we are really putting a concerted effort into conserving our finances right now...and going out of the office would've meant putting myself into a situation where I would've really wanted to buy something. Either it would've been lunch - or groceries - or just something. So I opted to stay in. Oh yeah, I could've gone to work out, but I just couldn't get geared up for that.

But I wanted to get out because I - to use Elle's word - am in a funk today, and probably could've used the fresh air. But I stayed in to have the opportunity to tell you all how much I wanted to get out but didn't. Hmmm... no logic, but that's okay, too. All part of the "blah" day. Anyway, I'll tell you why I feel like this.

I was invited - by one the professors in my college - to come speak to her morning class on adoption & parenting. So I did. I spoke for an hour & 15 minutes (yikes!) about our experiences, and about Iliya. I bombarded them with pictures (what is a proud mother to do?) and our experiences ... I don't know if they enjoyed my talk...but I enjoyed giving it.

Then I got back to work & I realized something.

All that talk about Iliya and I got back to the office to find that I desperately miss him today. I know, I can go right down the hall and look at him, but that's just not the same as hugging him and talking to him. I enjoy working - I just have the occasional day where I want to be at home, in my pajamas, hanging out and playing with my child (preferrably with the child's father there, also!). Today is one of those days, I guess.

So I'm just in a blah mood today - wanting the hours to hurry on so that I can pick my child up & get home to have a relaxing evening.

I bet tomorrow will be better...

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Okay, I'm editing to share a video clip that I love. I actually shared this with the class today. This was taken the day after we picked Iliya up from the baby home. The night we picked him up, he cried - we had taken him from everything he had ever known. But the next morning, he slowly came awake & began interacting with us. After his bath - in the early afternoon (right after lunch), I began rocking him to sleep for his nap. He had other plans - and wanted to interact with me, so I went with it. This video clip is actually several minutes long, but I pared it down to capture his little laugh. It makes me feel better (what baby laugh is not contagious?)...of course, while it simultaneously makes me want to hurry up the time to get home!