I wanted to share with you all a very poignant analogy between pregnancy and adoption. Any adoptive parent will tell you that once you begin, there are "milestones" and hurdles you may have to overcome that can be likened to a pregnancy. I got this from the blog of a family who recently adopted from the Ukraine, and though for privacy reasons, I won't credit her site...but I'll credit who she gave credit to (From Jodi: "Amy A. is a fellow soon-to-be adoptive parent of a Ukrainian child or children. She and her husband just got their October NAC appointment date - yippee, congrats Amy! Anyhow, she wrote a wonderful little piece called A Different Kind of Pregnancy that I thought was very much worth sharing!"). I've adapted it to our Russian adoption...I hope this is okay...as far as I know, there is no copyright, I just know that you probably wouldn't come across it any other way.

I'm sure that the adaptations I've done to make this reflective of a Russian adoption may be a little skewed by what actually will happen (as with how you may envision a pregnancy going, and it go way differently than you expected!). Things are constantly changing and updating about the process for Russia... When we actually come home with the baby, I will try to make any changes to this to reflect our actual experiences. For now, though...

Sit back, grab some tissues, and in the way of adoptive parents, you can see how Nathan and I could really, analogically announce that we're pregnant...


A Different Kind of Pregnancy
Deciding to get pregnant = Deciding to Adopt

Trying to conceive = Deciding to use an agency or adopt independently and which agency or facilitator to use

We’re pregnant = Finally made a decision and we are on the adoption journey road! Here is where we make the announcement to family and friends!

First Trimester = Apply for an application to adopt with USCIS (formerly INS) called an I600A form ~ Get fingerprinted for USCIS ~ Start your homestudy (A homestudy is basically an approval from social services that allows you to adopt. They ALSO have you get fingerprinted and collect all sorts of documents like medical examination reports from your doctor, tax returns, financial statements, employment verification letters, proof of medical insurance, birth certificates and marriage certificates. They also ask for us to write a lengthy autobiography about our lives as well as ask for references letters to be written by non-family members. Then, they have a social worker come to your home 2-4 times for an inspection and private and joint interviews with the adoptive mother and father. A little nerve rattling).

When this is completed and you are approved = Hearing the baby’s heartbeat

Second Trimester = This is where the real paper gathering begins. It is very similar to the Homestudy paperwork, but in more detail. Every document has to be notarized and have a special seal by the Secretary of State called an Apostille. You have to be very careful in all of your dates. NOTHING can expire until the process and travel has been complete, or they will kick the whole dossier (collection of documents) right back at you, even if you are in country in the process. No exceptions. You have to make sure you choose a notary, social worker, homestudy agency and doctor whose license or commission does not expire until well after you plan on being home with your child(ren). The documents that we had to collect are as follows: *Petition to Adopt *I171-H (this is what the I600A turns into after you are approved by INS) *Completed Original Homestudy *Copy of Homestudy License *Copy of Employment Letter for their Social Worker *Copy of Social Worker’s License *State Police Clearance Letter (3rd SET OF FINGERPRINTS!!!) *Medical Clearance from Doctor *Copy of Doctor’s License *Verification of Employment Letters *Marriage Certificates *Copy of Passports *Registration Obligation Letter *Power of Attorney

When we have compiled all of our documents (dossier), we ship if off to Russia for translations = Feeling the baby kick!!!!

Third Trimester = Wait Wait Wait for an Invitation to come to Russia for your referral.

The Delivery --

Water breaks = We’ve got our date!
The mad dash to the hospital = Traveling to Russia
Contractions & Hours and Hours of Long Hard Labor =

~The In Country Experience~ We are given our referral -- pictures, medicals, and any information they have on the child. We then go to that child's region and visit them. We can talk to the Orphanage Director and have our own doctor examine the child if we like. If for a horribly, horribly sad reason (Dear God please don’t let this happen!!!) we don’t feel this is the right child for our family, we go back to the NAC to start all over again.

~If not, we accept the referral, spend some time with the child, sign some papers, and then come home for a few months, awaiting another invitation to go to Russia again to actually complete the adoption

The Epidural = The time between coming home & going back...this is the time when we will get the nursery ready and really start preparing a place for the baby. This does not make the labor stop...only makes it a bit easier till time to push.

Time to Push = Another invitation to go back!!! Almost time for the arrival of the baby!!

When court is over = the baby is out and you can hear him/her cry.
Now there is a ton of paper gathering for the child for the embassy; visas, birth certificates, etc. that have to be obtained = Afterbirth

When all of this is complete we can come home!

A few honorable mentions:

Birthing coach = Stateside adoption helper/Agency......
My doctor = Facilitator (in country making everything happen person).......
Nurses = Facilitator’s Staff

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And there you are...we are transitioning from the first to the second trimester of our adoption.

Labels: Analogies, International Adoption